Monday night. It’s an important thing for the caregiver to take steps to stay afloat — so this morning, notwithstanding the 8-degree weather, I walked several blocks to my follow-up eye doctor appointment. As it turned out upon examination, my right eye had some suspicious areas, so he did another laser procedure to prevent the retina from tearing. Backup info: the retina specialist had done a laser procedure back in November to repair several retinal tears in my left eye. This was a similar laser procedure as before, strictly done as prevention this time, in the other eye — absolutely no fun, but relatively short and then it’s done. As soon as that was over, I made my way to the NYU Cancer Center, dilated eyes and all. I was able to catch a taxi straight away, which was great because of 1) the cold weather, and 2) the bright sunshine – and – dilated eyes. Anyway, Rob was already there (NYUCC), already started on the pre-chemo IV meds and hydration. When the chemo bag was hooked up and the infusion began, it seemed as though I could almost watch his face changing from a healthy pink to a very pale skin color. Today’s time table: Rob arrived around 9 am, and we didn’t leave there until 7:30 this evening. I expect that tomorrow may be another very long day. Today was Cisplatin (platinum), and tomorrow’s infusion will be Adriamycin (an orange-colored drug). These two drugs combine to hopefully really target the tumor. If this is anything like round three, they sure do target Rob’s blood counts! (I know, I know — using the word “target” these days means I’m very politically incorrect!)
While I am so very aware of needing and relying on God’s strength to help us walk this road, I am also very aware of how much I miss my parents, wanting to pick up the phone to call them, needing to hear their voices, knowing they were always ready to listen, care, and share their words of wisdom. But, I know that God speaks to my heart, that Jesus holds me close, and the Holy Spirit walks alongside me every day — thank you, Lord – I feel your strength, especially when I have none of my own.