Phantoms and memories.

Saturday night.  This week has been one of those weeks when I couldn’t keep straight which day it was ~ strange how it can linger all week long!  Rob, meanwhile, has been busy healing.  His surgical pain is diminishing, but his phantom pain is becoming more bothersome.  Thankfully, Dr. Rapp and his medical team stay concerned and involved.  Yesterday Rob had an appointment with Dr. Rapp and after their discussion (and a few more stitches), Rob received another prescription to help with these annoying neurological symptoms, so now he has two different meds to try to quiet his phantom pains.

Phantom is defined as a figment of the imagination.  Phantom pain?  Anything BUT imaginary!   Even though his right leg is no longer there, Rob’s brain is giving feedback that the leg is definitely there, and it’s not in pleasant positions:  cramping in the foot or the toes crossed over each other, itching, etc.  For sure, he’s not imagining the feelings of it!

This week, one year ago, my father was admitted into Piedmont Hospital and subsequently diagnosed with a primary high-grade brain tumor.  It was a shock at the time for him, as well as for the rest of the family.  I tried my best to shield my mother from hearing the scary news, using such terms as “there’s a mass in his brain,” rather than “he has a malignant brain tumor,” as well as giving her comforting words like “his doctors are very skilled, competent, and caring, and they are doing everything they can to help Daddy.”   This week has been absolutely flooded with memories for me.  Hmmmm.  Could this have something to do with the what day of the week is this? problem I’ve been having?  Could this be categorized as phantom-brain-pain?

I have not lost sight of the incredible ways that the Lord continues to bless and keep us.  We are comfortable in our NY apartment, having a nice kitchen in which to cook.  We enjoy cooking and have been doing plenty of it lately.  (Some NY apartments are so small that they have almost non-existent kitchens!  We looked at one of them — it was crazy how small the kitchen was!)  Also, close-by we have convenient grocery stores, drug stores, a meat market, fish market, bakery, wine stores, banks, etc., etc.  It’s been just fine living without a car, and in a lot of ways, it’s simpler.  Since Rob’s surgery, we have relied on a car service to transport us when traveling with Rob — trying to hail a taxi on the corner of the street isn’t practical for him just yet.  He’s only gone out for a couple of doctor visits at this point.

For sure, counting blessings is therapeutic ~ it keeps me going ~ and I plan to keep on counting.  It may just help me fight through these phantom-brain-pains….

Proverbs 10:22 – 22 God’s blessing makes life rich;  nothing we do can improve on God.

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2 Responses to Phantoms and memories.

  1. Linn Seidensticker says:

    Roslyn- May God comfort you with good memories of your Dad and Mom, but I understand your real pain of missing your Dad and Mom. They were such a real part of God’s blessing to our lives and no one can replace them even though there are people that can act motherly and fatherly. And no one can replace you! Love- Linn

  2. peggy Redfern says:

    It doesn’t seem like a year has passed since Uncle Rob was diagnosed. I’ve been
    thinking about him this week. And how brave and strong and loving you were during
    that time.

    Counting your blessings is a smart way to assuage the pain of missing him.

    He was such a great example for our family! Definitely one of a kind.
    I miss him and think of him often. When I think of Uncle Rob, I offer him blessings.
    Same goes for Aunt Wilma. Every time I call my little cat, Wilma, it reminds me
    of her.

    So, obviously, I think about your parents all the time!

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